Now, let me tell you 'bout the school cafeteria It's got all the others beat It sells over four million burgers a year Just think, that's almost two pounds of meat
My ice cream sandwich is lukewarm But my burrito is much too cold You know a school cafeteria is the only place That sells artificially colored mold
You know a school cafeteria believes in mass production They buy those lousy soy beans by the keg I don't like to complain, but in a school cafeteria You can buy a taco and get bubonic plague
Today in the school cafeteria They introduced a brand new malt It's called boysenberry dysentery Please pass the salt
The tunafish sandwiches'll make you ill The enchiladas are enough to kill Before you eat, you'd better make out your will In the school cafeteria today
After sixty-three years in the business Our cook still hasn't got the knack And all the food in the school cafeteria Comes from care packages that were sent back
Feel your arteries growing hard As you eat another healthy spoonful of lard
It's no wonder that the food is so gross The health department is afraid to come close So everybody better hold your nose In the school cafeteria today
So listen very closely, all you girls and guys Here's a little message to the wise You'd better not try the chili surprise In the school cafeteria today, oh yeah In the school cafeteria today
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